8.10.07

Dear Minayl,

I told you that if I say something out loud I let it out and it escapes me. But if I don’t say it. If I think something, but keep it inside, never tell anyone, what happens? Is it even real? When something good happens to someone they immediately want to tell someone. Just to make it real. To make it official. If no one knows about it, it might as well have not happened. I’m always scared that people will know what I’m thinking. How would people react if they knew what goes on in my head? I should be ashamed of myself. So should you. I hate people so much sometimes that I just want to run away. Why cant people just do what I want? Why cant the world be right? How can some people do the things that they do? Have you ever seen a horror movie and thought how could someone do that? To kill, intentionally hurt someone... i guess there is a sense of power in knowing that you could control the life of someone other than you. It’s called a God complex... or is that just extreme megalomania? I would rather die than feel that power. It makes me feel sick. She is a megalomaniac. She’s also pretty ugly if you really look at her. Scrawny and bird-like... I think she should cut her hair. And maybe her head along with it.
Love, Ayesha